“Imagine if 10 years ago you were approached by a time traveler and he was like “look, I don’t have much time to explain, all I can tell you is that the year 2020 is going to be an absolute shit show. You know Donald Trump, the star of the apprentice? Well, he’s the president of the United States and at the beginning of 2020, he gets into a Twitter beef with Iran that almost starts world war 3. Australia catches on fire and a woman tries to save it by selling pictures of her tits. Kobe Bryant passes away in a helicopter crash. Half the world is devasted, the other half just makes fucked up memes. A little time passes and just when the world starts recovering from the loss of Kobe some dude in China eats a fucking raw ass bat and starts a global pandemic. Everyone loses their minds. 40% of the population thinks it’s the end of the world another 40% thinks it’s all fake and 20% blames the whole thing on cell phone towers and Tom Hanks fucking kids. The one thing everyone seems to agree on is that the only way to survive is by hoarding toilet paper. Grocery stores are ransacked and Charmin ultra soft essentially replaces the dollar as the United States official currency. Car shows get canceled. Eventually, as hysteria grows, world governments are forced to shut the entire planet down and lock everyone in their houses and the only person that can keep the people from completely flipping out and starting a huge riot is a gun-toting homosexual Oklahoma man with a meth addiction and 180 pet tigers…”